How to Make Friends in A New City

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It can be daunting to try and transplant your whole life to a new city. Sure, the job may be up and rolling day 1. But what are you supposed to do after work? Who do you hang out with?

It can get lonely fast when everywhere you go–in the hallway at the new workplace, around the new neighborhood, or at the new gym–you literally recognize NO ONE.

Before you panic, take a step back and realize you’ve done nothing wrong. Your lack of friends in this new location is no reflection of you. The people around you haven’t even had the chance to get to know how fabulous and intelligent (and don’t forget humble) you are yet.

These transitions–whether they be moving to a new job or moving to a whole new city–are part of life for everyone.

A wise man once said,”Old friend pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.”

Here’s 5 ways you can focus on the potential and make things meaningful wherever you’re at.

1. Be outdoor bound.

Going out into public spaces may appear to be a plainly obvious suggestion, however in some cases when you’re in a new place, there’s solace in staying settled inside, away from traffic and noise and getting lost and accidentally ending up in a sketchy spot in the the dead of night. But even if it’s daunting, it’s still important that you spend as much time as you can outside the dividers of your home. Peruse a book at a coffeehouse rather than in your easy chair. Eat at an outdoor cafe as opposed to hauling take-out back to your place. Choose to take whatever you’re doing out.

2. Say yes. To everything.

When one woman first moved to New York City, she reported she didn’t hardly know anyone. Be that as it may, she made a point to be purposeful about making friends. For her, that meant she said yes to each welcome. When a companion said she knew somebody who knew somebody who was facilitating some social event, she seized the opportunity to go. In the long run, many of the people she met while attending events like these ended up turning into friends over time.

3. Follow your passion.

There are some hobbies and interests you already appreciate more than others. By pursuing these, even if the faces around you aren’t familiar, the actual tasks will feel like home.  Do you like to paint? Take an art class surrounded by other people who probably do too. This is a great way to tap into “your tribe” in a new area.  Invest your time and energy (and money) in the things you love that bring you satisfaction. Are you an animal lover? Volunteer at a creature shelter. Do you read constantly? Sign up for a book club at the local library. Oh, and, if there’s something that you’ve for the longest time been itching to attempt, however have been reluctant about, this is the ideal opportunity to reinvent yourself too!

4. Nurture Your Relationship.

Eventually, if you commit to being an out-going person (not in personality, but in geography), you’ll run into somebody who you feel a connection with. This feeling of “good fit” could start as only a suspicion—there’s some internal spider sense you like this individual. Or it could be an obvious aha moment—you’ve discovered your new best friend and you simply know it. However it unfolds, follow your instincts.

5. Develop your circle.

The fantastic thing about discovering even one person who you love hanging out with is that they most likely have five or eight or ten other friends who might fit your fancy too. Look for chances to meet your friend’s social circle when the time is right. It may well just turn into your own.

6. Put on a confident face.

When you stroll into some public space or social scene alone, walk with your head held high. Look for friendly welcoming faces that seem open to joiners.  While not every person you approach is going to turn into a friend, imagine there are some people present in every gathering who will absolutely love you…they simply don’t know it yet.

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  1. Lorraine

    There’s more than one article about this here, but I wanted to say that I think it makes a difference if you move to a city where you already know people in the region (where you can drive an hour to meet them in the middle) or not. Also the internet makes it easier to put it out there that you’ve newly arrived in City X and gives your friends a chance to mention if they have family or friends in your new town that would be worth meeting.

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