Is It Even Possible to Be Friends With Married Couples If You’re Single?

  • 9
  • 6
  • 1
  • 3
  • 2
  • 2

Photo: Ginger Palmisano

If you’re single, it can be hard-slash-impossible to know how to build a friendship with a dating or married couple. But it’s totally respectable to want to maintain a relationship with a friend who got married. Or to develop friendship with networks that include couples and families.

Some benefits to befriending couples

  • As a single individual, making friends with married couples gives you an avenue to learn about what it takes to shape a happy and peaceful home. You can learn a lot by observing their way of life, how they manage their household, and how they relate to one another.
  • Your couple friends are also a great source of practical life advice and may prove helpful in planning for marriage, home or vehicle ownership, or other big steps you’ll take down the road.
  • While singles can often freestyle–eating meals whenever they want and filling in with takeout as they please–married couples can expose you to new methods of cooking, new recipes, new ways for tackling cleaning and other chores, and new approaches to child care.
  • Couples, at least the most successful ones, might also model good conflict resolution skills. Since marriage requires them to sort through their differences to make their home work, they may have picked up some useful practices that help them to feel heard, to be more resilient, or to not take things personally.

How to include couples in your social life

  • Join them in something they like to do. Do they attend church, for example? Don’t be afraid to check out their congregation. Do they go to a weekly book club or work out at a gym? Ask if there’s room for one more.
  • Include them in group invitations even if you don’t think they’ll want to come. Is a group of friends going to a concert or catching opening night of a new movie? Make sure to get them the details in case it’s something they’d enjoy attending. Even if they decline, it will nurture goodwill that you invited them in the first place.
  • Hang out with just the husband or just the wife (depending on your gender). Is one of the spouses going to be out of town? Offer to host a Girl’s Night or a Guy’s Night to do something you both enjoy and catch up.
  • Offer to help. It can inspire gratitude when friends offer to pitch in as couple’s manage their households or families. Are you willing to babysit to give them a night out? Could you lend a hand as they paint the living room or dig up their yard to plant their first garden? Would you run them to work when their car is in the shop? Do you make a mean chicken noodle soup you could deliver when their struck by the latest flu bug? Extending normal courtesies like these can cement your ability to be friends with them in their couple role.
  • Celebrate them. Send them a card, a text, or at the very least a Facebook message on their anniversary. Acknowledge both their birthdays as well and add them to your Christmas card list. Ask if it’s appropriate for you to come to the hospital to see their new baby after it’s born…and take a thoughtful gift!

Keep in mind when building a friendship with a couple, or when a single friend gets married, that it’s natural for them to be temporarily pre-occupied with setting up their house or starting a family for a time. Don’t feel hurt, then, it they cut back on time with third parties for a while. They will likely reconnect over time, as married couples still need outside friendships to draw support from in order to protect their spouse from having to try to meet all of their needs!

There are 2 comments

Add yours
  1. Danielle Marie

    I hang out with my best friend who got married, but I’m not technically single, I guess, since I’m in a serious relationship. (We aren’t engaged though.) We don’t hang out with the guys though, so I don’t see why a married friend and a single friend couldn’t hang out together especially if it werent’ with the husband. I think it gets tougher when kids are involved. Just sayin.

  2. M.Yearse

    It is possible, but when I was single it was really hard because a lot of married couples are so caught up in the honeymoon or engagement stage that they won’t make the effort. So I guess I’m just saying, try, but don’t feel bad if they’re just too swept away to get into it right now. Maybe try again in year two when they’re already sick of each other. 😉

Post a new comment